Before new year's I had already resolved to do a few things that unlike other people's resolutions these are quite attainable.
My new year's resolutions are as follows:
- Celebrate my many Aunt's birthdays personally instead of feeling guilty that I can't buy them ish when Christmas comes. (This of course was after I felt bad that the majority of them got me something and I didn't, lol.)
- Stop second-guessing my thoughts and/or opinions and be as honest with people that think I usually am.
- Accept that I am emotional, not sensitive. (there is a difference.)
- Save, Save, Save! (The London trip ain't gonna pay for itself or with my good looks, lol.)
- Be more open to having fun with different people outside of my inner circle.
Two topics of discussion that have been bothering me very recently, that I would like to share with you guys. (Just venting...you skim it if you want)
First...Is it wrong that I "choose" to speak w/broken English and/or bad grammar around friends and family? And as proper as possible (I'll admit my vocabulary isn't a vast as I want it to be at the age I am.) when out in the world amongst mixed company? It has been a common theme with one my sister and step-mom to correct me on how I say things when we're around one another. Yesterday, they pointed out I was about to say "seen" but changed it to "saw" and they were "proud" of me? *quizzical look* I explained to them that I hadn't noticed it but I'm sure it was because I subconsciously knew they were ready to correct me and I didn't want it to happen. My step-mom asked, "What is that supposed to mean?" I explained to them what I just wrote above that I don't deem it to be necessary to censor my initial thoughts around friends and family because you guys should get me regardless.
In my defense, I attended okay schools growing up but the unfortunate thing is grammar was NOT emphasized much at all BUTTTT somehow with my limited vocabulary and bad grammar I was able to graduate high school, graduate from THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY and I'm steadily on my way to graduating from The University of Akron with a dual masters in Community Counseling and School Counseling. Hmmmm....that's interesting isn't it? I think so.. So to that I say fu*k grammar and though I value it in a sense, I believe until I have kids I won't really worry about how I speak because thus far it hasn't held me back from obtaining my dreams.
Second topic is I get subtle micro-aggressions from certain family members that believe that because I am receiving disability and not working that I have somehow become lazy, shiftless, unmotivated, pretty much a "statistic". And in statistic I definitely mean, "a black person, living off the government." It sickens me to my stomach that these people can say in the same breath that they love me, understand my disease and add that I should be doing moreWhen did getting a dual masters become easy? That's interesting. Plus I asked for this opportunity from GOD. Unfortunately, had I known when I asked GOD to allow me to go to graduate school and not have to work, I sure would've taken it back knowing I had to have Scleroderma to receive that request. So, YES! I will live off the government, work part time when I feel like it (I will be officiating track and field events this spring just like I did last spring) and focus on my future career as a counselor. I have the rest of my life to work and become burned out. I will gladly take two years off and be stress free in non-working bliss!
Ahhh.....that felt good. Glad its off my chest. Now with the positive I had a decent Christmas and New Year's and I would like to share the few pictures I have before my camera died and I couldn't figure out how to charge it. (It pays to read the manual, lol.)
I am a positive person and very optimistic when it comes to life's trials and tribulations. I will do my best to abide by the mantra throughout 2011 but excuse me if I had a moment like today. I pray and hope that I provide a great deal of positivity, encouragement and unique perspective as you continue to support me by reading my blog.
Love you all and HAPPY NEW YEAR! Affirmation: A peaceful heart makes for a peaceful life!
AG
p.s. when I spelled checked, I spelled grammar-grammer. told yall I'm a mess but I'm real.
